By Hugh Patrick
In one of the best years in horror cinema in recent memory, us fans were gifted with tons of heart pounding moments, unforgettable performances and of course, gallons of blood. I’ve assembled my annual list of carnage and chaos to give to you my top 13 horror films of 2022.
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13. Christmas Bloody Christmas (Shudder)
Writer and director Joe Begos has made horror bangers such as VFW and Bliss but his work has never made my best of list until now. Begos this time around tackles the Christmas Horror sub-genre with a killer robo Santa Claus that is out for blood with axe in hand. That’s right, think Terminator on Christmas on acid and what you get is an intense ride that once it starts going does not let you breathe until the credits roll. The star of the show here is actress Riley Dandy who is essentially the Sarah Conner role against the Holiday horror. She’s hilarious, she’s got a dirty mouth (on twitter she confirmed to me that there is 487 F bombs in the film) and most of all she kicks ass! Along with Joe Begos now iconic directing style with the bright neon pink, blue, and purple aesthetic, I’m glad that this film kicks off my list this year and hey, extra points for it being a Christmas movie. Happy Horrordays.
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12. The Menu (Theaters)
The Menu comes in at #12. Going by just the trailer prior to seeing this film I had an assumption on what the hook was going to be and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Director Mark Mylod has said that The Menu is not a horror comedy even though a good handful of moments through out the film I found myself laughing out loud. The two leads of the Head chef played by Ralph Fiennes and Margot played by the enchanting Anya Taylor-Joy are impossible to take your eyes off of. Personally I couldn’t be further from what people consider a “foodie” but even I was into all the exotic dishes that the chef and his crew concocted. This film had a ton of twists and turns to the point where you had no idea what would be coming at the dinner guests next. With a mix of humor and edge of your seat tension, The Menu is one of those films this year that all movie fans should not miss. Fun Fact, this was my mom’s favorite movie of the year.
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11. PREY (Hulu)
I was born in the 1980’s. Now, every movie fan from that time period chances are you have one, seen Predator and two, love Predator. So I was extremely excited to check out Prey when it landed on Hulu earlier this year. After my first viewing, don’t get me twisted I enjoyed it but it didn’t grab me like I thought it would. In all honesty, Prey was not on this list until literally last night when I decided to rewatch the film in the way I should have from the jump. That way is as follows, on my tv, wearing my headphones and most importantly, with the Comanche dub track playing. With my first viewing the characters speaking English really took me out of the experience as it didn’t feel authentic. That was not the case on my second viewing, it paid off in spades. This film has everything you would want in action sci-fi horror flick.
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10. INCANTATION (Netflix)
In case you weren’t already aware, the found footage sub-genre has been one of, if not my favorites ever since I first laid eyes on The Blair Witch Project. With this point it’s not a surprise that there is two found footage films on the list this year. The first one being the Taiwanese film Incantation. Based loosely on true events of a family of 6 who in 2005 believed they were all possessed by evil entities from Chinese folklore. Directed by Kevin Ko Incantation on paper sounds like your run of the mill supernatural horror. A woman in the past messes with an evil spirit while she’s pregnant when years later when the child is older starts to experience strange behavior as in seeing people that aren’t there, sleepwalking at night, etc. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. The film does this thing that very few films do as the main character actually speaks to us the viewer, asking us to chant, stare at symbols, and even give your name. It sounds hokey but was very effective. The film checks just about every box you would want in a horror movie, cults, jump scares that work, creepy kids, and a sense of dread that grips you be the neck and doesn’t let go just to name a few. Out of all the movies I’ve seen this year this was the one where, even though I know it’s only a movie I felt the notion of I shouldn’t be watching in fear of being cursed. I’ve checked out a ton of other best of lists for this year and I have been rather shocked that I have not seen Incantation on many people’s lists. Let me be the one who tells you that it should be on the list because it’s damn scary and a damn good found footage entry.
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9. NOPE (Peacock)
Not. Of. Planet. Earth. Or NOPE by Jordan Peele is in at #9. This one out of all the movies this year bounced around the most on the list. I always knew it would be on here but not exactly where. Get Out is easily a top 10 horror movie of all time and I also really enjoyed US so I was counting down the days to see Peele’s third entry in NOPE. I don’t want to say that Nope didn’t live up to my expectations because I really enjoyed it, I just feel the third act was a bit of a miss for me. Not to give anything away but the film evolves into a Spielbergian summer action blockbuster in the third act, which is what they were going for, it just didn’t land for me. What works for Nope really works. I’ll start with the incredible score as Peele really has a talent of selecting some of the most unique songs the genres seen all year, shout out to the Jupiter’s Claim western style theme song. And when the situation called for it composer Michael Abels delivers on the spooky vibes. The cinematography is on a different level as well as the CG when used is flawless. Finally the acting, who seems to now be Peele’s go to man actor, Daniel Kaluuya does a remarkable job at bringing OJ Haywood to life as you really feel that this is an ordinary guy living out in a farm in California whose life has just been thrown into a cyclone. Nope is not nearly as good as other Jordan Peele projects but it’s still a damn good film. Added coolness for me, I was lucky enough to visit Universal Studios Hollywood this year where they have the actual set on display of Jupiter’s Claim. It was neat to be transported into that world even if for a few minutes. Jordan Peele is still my guy and I can not wait to see what he does next.
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8. Deadstream (Shudder)
“This is Shawn Ruddy coming to you live from… Death Manor!” When I first heard of Deadstream I heard it was in the point of view of a youtube influencer and I immediately was turned off. Then I was informed that it is a mix of Host and Evil Dead 2 in found footage and that it was a cant miss experience, so I gave it a shot opening night on Shudder and I’m glad I did because I was instantly all in. Thus giving us our second found footage film on the list this year. Deadstream starts and ends with it’s star, writer and director Joseph Winter. Winter stars as a disgraced youtube influencer who decides to do one last stunt that he hasn’t attempted on his channel, stay a night at a famously haunted house, Death Manor. This movie works so incredibly well because of how funny it is. Winter plays this Shawn Ruddy character so over the top and so humorously that very quickly in you are rooting for him not to get hurt. As he sets up cameras all over the house, Halloween Resurrection style, you’re listening to him tell ghost stories about each room as he ventures around the house like you’re watching a low budget youtube version of Ghost Adventures. As the night rolls on you meet another character who shows up in the house which brings a whole new level of intrigue and suspense to go along with the humor and the horror. Deadstream lived up to its hype as I had a big smile on my face throughout the bullet speed run time of 127 minutes, with a solid amount of legit scares. Im looking forward to whatever Joseph Winter does next because with Deadstream he hit a homerun! Now make sure you smash that like button and remember to subscribe.
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#7 The Sadness (Shudder)
Time to put on your big boy pants and grab your barf bags. The Sadness is next up at #7. The Sadness wont be for everybody, shit I’m not totally sure it was for me, but I know I had a hell of a time watching it. Funded by mostly cryptocurrency and one of the producers cam girl businesses comes one of the craziest and bloodiest (all practical effects btw) films of the year. A certain other film that’s higher on this list may have it beat. In The Sadness we see a young couple trying to reunite amid a city ravaged by a plague that turns its victims into deranged, bloodthirsty sadists. The Sadness has in my opinion one of the most vicious and downright scary antagonist in all of cinema this year, The Business Man. Yes, everyone that is infected by the contagion is an antagonist but that main bad is heavy duty. The two main characters were very well acted, and both exuded a lot of charisma which made you really root for their survival against this living hell they are engulfed into. If you’re searching for extreme violence, gross gags, and an actual good zombie film ( yes they can be made) The Sadness is going to be your jam. Just please do NOT show it to the grandparents the next time they come over to visit.
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#6 SCREAM (5) (Paramount +)
Scream, what can ya say really? One of my all-time favorite franchises, the original is THE best horror film from the 1990’s, and arguably single handily brought horror back from the dead. So when news started to trickle out that a new Scream sequel was in the works the obvious question was who was going to helm it considering franchise creator, the iconic Wes Craven had passed away from cancer in 2015. In comes Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett, better known to horror fans as Radio Silence. Fresh off of their success of the amazing Ready or Not, this was the perfect decision to carry on Ghostface’s legacy. 25 years after the murderous rampage in Woodsboro a new killer emerges donning the ghostface mask and its up to series final girl Sydney Prescot to return to uncover the truth. Speaking of Sydney, Neve Campbell was initially hesitant to return to the role due to Wes Craven’s passing, but a letter written by Radio Silence to Campbell describing how much Craven and his films meant to them as filmmakers changed her mind and she accepted their offer. Opening night at the Majestic here in Phoenix was a huge spectacle. Sold out show, Scream themed food and beverages and a ton of scream masks being worn by the fans. Unfortunately for me I was sitting next to a couple that talked during the entire film which sucked but I didn’t allow it to ruin my experience. I came in excited to see the legacy characters, Sydney, Dewey and Gale and they were all great as usual. But the new cast, especially the two new leads of Melissa Barrera as Sam and now mega star Jenna Ortega as Tara, get handed the baton and carry it to the finish line with excellent performances. David Arquette was my personal favorite part of the film as he has mastered the role of Dewey Riley. Fun and creative kills, many jabs and jokes taken at the current state of horror, which is a Scream franchise staple, a Psycho reference, and a great third act that even surprised me that was oozing with 90’s nostalgia. Scream 6 is coming out in a few months and I am ecstatic to see where the franchise goes from here but Scream 5 was a great reboot/sequel that the Radio Silence boys did an impeccable job at creating. P.s. Damnit I KNOW Stu is in this movie, we just don’t realize it yet. #StuLives
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#5 X (On Demand)
Top 5 time and I can’t think of a better way to get into it than the man, Ti mother f’n West! Yes, my personal favorite director ever since I first watched the House of the Devil way back in the year 2009. West took a hiatus from the horror genre after 2013’s the sacrament focusing in on tv work and directing a western film In a Valley of Violence. After the long wait Ti West is back where he belongs in 2022 and boy did he come back with a bang! West wanted to take a swing at the slasher sub-genre with X and where better place to go than 1970’s Texas (New Zealand in reality) In X we follow a group of young adult film stars and crew who arrive at an old farmhouse to film their next big hit movie. Little do they know an elderly couple are also living at the farm. As the day shifts into night, our film stars quickly discover they are not safe, and are being targeted by another star on the land. Going into the theater all I knew was it was a horror film, helmed by Ti West set in 1970’s Texas, so everything was a surprise and I loved it! We meet Mia Goth’s Maxine, who in which (spoiler alert) also plays the killer Pearl. We will we talk about much more in our next movie on this list, is an absolute star! The fact that I didn’t know Goth played both Maxine and Pearl till the next day just goes to show you the level of skill the makeup and sfx crew had ( and Goth’s acting ). X leans heavily into the themes of getting older and the lack of sexual desires as we age, which brings an extra layer of dread outside of the slashing and the gore. Eventually Pearl stumbles upon the crew filming their trash porn and propels her into a frenzy. What follows can only be described as a blood bath. The first kill occurring over the song Don’t fear the Reaper which is one of the big set pieces that is unforgettable as well as unrelenting in its violence. After a night of more chaos dealt out by our protagonists (and the alligator of course) we have our lone survivor Maxine who escapes the twisted nightmare to set up for a sequel entitled Maxxxine later next year. X was such a breath of fresh air to a genre that lost a bit of its edginess. Ti West set out to make a grimy, sexy slasher and he nailed it all while creating the next horror icon in Pearl which we will be diving into next. Great to have you back Ti!
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#4 Pearl (On Demand)
Before I continue here I feel bad numbering these next four films as any one of them could easily have been my number one but we’ll continue on. After both Ti West and star Mia Goth fell in love with the character Pearl they decided to co-write a prequel film. In an unprecedented move rarely seen in Hollywood, A24 gave them 100% support, funding and most of all confidence to make a prequel to X set in the same location just in 1918. Ti and Mia originally wanted to film Pearl in black and white but the studio wouldn’t allow it so they went to the other side of the spectrum in Technicolor. Turns out it was the right decision in the end. Pearl is my favorite looking film of the year. On such a low budget Ti West makes this puppy look gorgeous. The images literally pop off the screen. This picture follows pearl’s, ( literally she is in 95% of the frames) origins and her descent into madness. It also sheds some light onto why she was so bitter and angry to the characters in X decades later. Pearl much like Maxine wants to be a star and will do anything and everything to make that happen. When that outcome doesn’t come to fruition, everyone in her world has to pay. Mia Goth’s portrayal of Pearl in this picture is unmatched I believe this year by any other actor. Her incredible talent of being so loveable to being terrified in a blink of an eye is awe inspiring. Near the latter parts of the picture she has a long monologue that just seals the deal on how great of an actress she truly is. The score by Tyler Bates and Tim Williams I had to mention here because the more I listen to it, the more I love it. Such an audible treat that merges 1920’s technicolor era music with a current age suspense tones that really puts a big red bow on the entire project. Im so glad this picture was made because it is truly Ti West’s best film yet and seeing Pearl’s downward spiral into what we see in X is one hell of a trip. Now we get to sit back and patiently wait for next year’s maXXXine.
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#3 Smile (On Demand)
I was privileged to see our next film on our list about a week earlier from release and the theater was packed. Literally shoulder to shoulder, goodbye social distancing. So the anticipation and the energy in the theater was at a fever pitch. Smile is directed by, and I cant believe I’m saying this, first time director of a feature film Parker Finn. Last night before writing this I watched Parker Finn’s short that he filmed entitled “Laura hasn’t slept.” Which was also amazing and it makes a lot of sense that when Paramount saw this short when it debuted at SSW they quickly put Smile into production. Smile follows amazing actress Sosie Bacon who plays Rose Cotter, a compassionate psychiatrist. After what is undoubtedly the strongest, most sadistic cold open horror has seen all year long. After the events of the open, Rose is then now cursed by an evil entity as she starts experiencing frightening occurrences that she can’t explain. Rose must now confront this entity as well as her troubling past in order to overcome her terrifying new reality. Parker Finn blends family drama with horror, with a twist of comedy spots. When a joke drops, it hits. This movie is very heavy so the droplets of humor is very welcoming. Smile has sequences of horror elements that would make James Wan smile ( see what I did there ) Figures in shadow, objects in the back of the frame that makes your skin crawl, I love that kind of stuff. The run time could maybe be 15 minutes shorter but believe me Smile never drags. By the end of the 155 minutes Rose looks like she hasn’t taken a shower in weeks. Another standing ovation for the makeup department. If there was a Jump Scare of the year award Smile owns it! Not going to spoil when it happens but when it happens, you’ll know. By the time we get to the third act and the final showdown takes place my jaw was hanging down because I did not expect what I was watching. With a story like this, if it didn’t stick the landing it could have ruined the whole experience thankfully for smiles sake, I thought the ending was great and leaves the door open for sequels. Wink wink. Another film on this list that checks all the boxes you want in a horror movie. I cant wait to see what Parker Finn does next, ( Nightmare on Elm st.? ) here’s hoping its Smile part 2 but who knows, but I’m excited. 😊
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#2 Terrifier 2 ( Screambox/DVD)
Ok enough of the preamble, it is freaking TERRIFIER 2 TIME!
I’ve attended countless Rock concerts and movie premiers in my life separately, but not until I saw Terrifier 2 in theaters on opening night did I experience both at the same time. Once again The Majestic Theater was a phenomenal host. Along with the themed food and bev, they also had a pre screening raffle that one of the prizes was my drawing that I did of franchise slashing protagonist Art the Clown. Shout out to Danni, thank you for asking me to include it! All the valley area horror peeps were in attendance. We sold that thing out to front to back, the place was jacked with Art the clown loving lunatics. Once the projectionist started the reel the madness began. Franchise creator, makeup effects, writer, and director Damien Leone pulls no punches when meeting the high expectations of the fans in Terrifier 2. Neither I nor anyone else cared about the two hour and eighteen minute long runtime because we knew what we were going to get was worth the time and in the end it sure was. After being resurrected by a sinister entity, Art the Clown ( David Howard Thorton ) returns to the timid town of Miles County where he targets a teenager Sienna played excellently by Lauren LaVera on Halloween night. If you’re not aware of who or what Art the Clown is he is a sadistic, ruthless, brutal, F’ing psycho and with this entry into the series has solidify himslef as a horror icon. To have a new icon, especially now a days doesn’t come around very often. If you thought The Sadness had too much red stuff then this my friends is not for you. The crew had a goal in mind for gore and when they reached that goal, they went a tad further. Now keep in mind I watched this in a theater of die hard horror fans and even we were at times squirming in our seats at the bloody madness that was happening up on the screen. No one complained though because we knew exactly just what we were getting ourselves into. Not only do you get buckets of blood from Art he also brings a ton of humor. Just youtube Art the Clown sunglasses scene and that’s all you’ll need to know. DHT is a genius actor and is amazing at bringing so much character to a character with no character. ( Got all that?) Art is not the only star in this movie bring on our newest scream queen ::drum roll::…. Lauren Lavera! An amazing actress, she can kick your ass, take a punch, and gorgeous as hell. On my rewatch I was just as excited to see Sienna as I was Art. Damien Leone ups the anti in this bad boy in every way. More blood and guts, better comedy, better acting, better story, and side kick for Art! F*ck Yeah! I could go on forever about all the gags and kills but you should really just experience it for yourself. One more cool thing about the night I saw the movie was one of the actors who portrayed one of the characters in the dream sequence /kids Saturday morning tv show sequence was in our theater viewing it with us! Yes, when she died the whole audience cheered, because of course. Overall Terrifier 2 delivered in absolutely every bloody way possible. Art is here and he’s here to stay! Horror has a new icon. Bring on Terrifier 3! ( God help us )
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#1 BARBARIAN (HBO MAX)
We made it! 2022’s number one horror film of the year is, Jeepers Creepers: Reborn! Of course I am joking. It is in fact Barbarian. Written and directed by Zach Cregger. Zach back in the day used to make me crack up laughing on his old comedy skit show “The Whitest Kids U’Know.” So when I heard he was making a horror film I was very intrigued. After small period of time passed as critics started to see it the hype began to slowly grow on how great this thing was. With Barbarian I did something I usually am incapable of doing, I went into Barbarian completely blind! I knew two things about it Zach Cregger made it and that Bill Skarsgard played a role and that’s it. With that I can’t express enough, if you haven’t seen the film yet I beg of you go into it just like that and thank me later. So if you’re still reading this I’ll go into a little of minor spoiler territory but not much. In Barbarian we meet Tess played by Georgina Campbell who arrives at an air bnb in the slummiest of slum streets in Detoit, MI. she is greeted by someone already accidently staying in the air bnb in Keith played by genre favorite Bill Skarsgard. What transpires in the days ahead after this dilemma is nothing short of story telling and horror gold that will be discussed for decades to come. The twists and turns that this movie takes, I don’t care who you are, you can not see some of these plot twists coming. After the arc of Keith and Tess is over you as a viewer are ejected out of the house and into a sunny beach side interstate highway with one of my favorite actors ever Justin Long, who is fantastic in this film. Long delivers easily my favorite male performance of the year. Long’s story arc takes him back to the air bnb in Detroit where the insanity picks up again through Justin Longs eyes. What follows from there is an unforgettable roller coaster ride that has the words what the f*ck spray painted on the side of it. By the time the end credits roll you feel like you have just been through a 12 round boxing match as your brain tries to calculate everything that its just witnessed. It is actually terrifying that this is Zach Cregger’s first feature film being this strong. How in the world could he top himself? The film feels like a 3 part play so it has zero pacing issues. The only issues you may experience is your muscles tightening from all the tension and scares this thing has attached to it. Hopefully I didn’t give too much away for anyone who has not seen it yet. In a year with so many great horror films I feel Barbarian stands just a few inches higher than all the rest. Only downside to a film like this is that there will never be that first time viewing experience because you know all the twists and turns it takes. You can’t fault a film for that though. Bravo Mr. Cregger you earned my top spot in 2022, a year that truly kicked ass! Cant wait for what 2023 brings….. ( EVIL DEAD RISE!)
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Terrified State 